Happy

Hey blog, so today I'm only doing happy, happy songs, happy thoughts, happy times. Currently listening to an LP track and as old as the song might be, those boys still get to me! So let's see, it's been an aiight day. I was meant to be in bed lounging and watching Denny Crane. But I'm at work. sacrifices... sacrifices. So pretty happy day. God things happening, I don't have to see some fools any more and bear their arrogance :) yeah.... happy day bloggie:-)
On the other hand my best girl is going through a rough patch. All her plans for the future are being messed up one by one, I'm feeling so helpless and such are the times I wish I was still the baller I used to be a few years ago :( . Life can sure suck, but I have this feeling and I know things are gonna work out just fine for her... Gotta keep the faith.
So i'm looking forward to my leave where i will go and lay in the sun and sand for a few days, dance away my youth, make out with strangers(NOT!), get WASATED and not give a second thought to my trashy X, and hunt for a new job...

Oh happy times :) .. Happy songs :)... happy thoughts :)

XoXo

Lost

Yes Bloggie, lost describes what I have been feeling for quite some time now.
Lost... my future, my boyfriend, my job, my education.
I simply can't seem to make up my mind on what it is I want to be doing in the next 4days, lets not talk about the next 5 years. I'm thinking of where I will start, I suppose my love life is always fun topic...
So everything was rosy and perfect when he was about to leave. We had all these big, major plans for our future, babies, money, forever. 11 months down the line it's starting to feel like we are letting go off those dreams. 11 months down the line it feels like we were simply a couple of naive teenagers, living in a bubble.
I guess we're both to blame. I just hate the path our relationship is taking and I feel helpless. After XJ i swore I would never let a man define who I am. I thought I had learned my lessons from that wreck of a relationship, but maybe I was wrong :(.
And as much as I would think of letting go I simply can't do it, cos I'm still hopelessly in love with the fool.
I know... you're probably thinking, how can she still love someone she probably doesn't know any more? People change and stuff.
And yes I KNOW people change, I am definitely not the same person I was one year ago and I'd be a fool to think that he's still the man I fell in love with.
But if true love isn't forever then what the fuck is??
If you can't believe in your love and have that strong love overcome oceans and time and thousands of miles and cold, sleepless nights then what the fuck are we supposed to believe in?
I feel like I have seen and been through too much in my previous relationships and deserve a break.
I felt like this man was finally my long overdue break.
But maybe nothing really does last forever.
Maybe true love only exists on love songs and Cinderella stories.
Maybe I really do need to stop living in the bubble I've been living in.....???
XoXo