loneliness

I've probably written this before. At least the title.. Story of my life. Long distance relationships do suck. It sucks more when you wake up on a chilly Sunday morning and you realize that it's Valentine's day. I'm not sure I understand all the hype around this day. All i know is that I grew up knowing it's a special day, a day you are meant to spend with the person(s) you love and show them how much you appreciate them. So this Valentine's day, I was lucky enough to wake up in my home town, in my old room. I would have loved to have my mom around today. Cos that's one person I never appreciated enough. There's so much I could do differently if I was given a second chance. I know I was far from the perfect daughter, caused her unbearable pain during our little time together. I like to believe she hears my thoughts somehow. Cos only she can know all I have to say.
To some extent, I think my love for my dad has a lot to do with the loss of mom.. If that makes any sense. But with or without mom, I am glad I got to learn how amazing a man that guy is. And whoever said girls marry their fathers must have met him. Cos I know I won't be settling for anything less.
I know I'm writing all over the place, I've never been good with organized thoughts. But guess in short, all I am trying to do is appreciate the people who mean the world to me. My family (which is falling apart-a story for another day), my best friend (who with every passing day we drift further), my man (who has the ability to make me stop thinking), my girls (who I get to see like 3times a year) and my imaginary pet. As I said, loneliness )-: